And a prideful one at that. Really. Sometimes I feel intelligent, talented, or otherwise gifted, like when I get into grad school or do well on a test. Other times, like today, I am fortunate enough to be reminded of how short-sighted and insignificant I am. Thanks, God.
When I started this project, some people suggested other grocery stores, like Save-a-lot and local markets. If you know me well, you know that I am a diehard Publix fan. I felt such strong brand loyalty that I didn't want to shop anywhere else... not even look into the idea.
Today, while searching for a source of Vitamin C with $1.69 in my pocket, I decided to stop in at this save-a-lot store. I've never been in one, always feeling like they were too dirty, or the food was of lower quality. Really, I just felt above the idea of shopping at a discount grocery store. My friends don't shop there, so I'd have to go alone. The food is all off brand, and selection is limited.
Something I've noticed these last 4 days is that I've become very protective of the food I have. Every morning when I wake up, I check that it's all there. I've mentally memorized how much everything costs, and calculate the price of each meal as I prepare it. I feel anxious about my food, and worry that someone will take it, or eat it. While I am preparing it, I worry that I will spill or burn it. It's a present, although not overwhelming, anxiety that I am unfamiliar with.
Back to save-a-lot. Because I've memorized the prices of all the food I have, I was immediately shocked to see everything I had for 30% cheaper. The flour was $1.59 versus $2.29. The oats were 30 cents cheaper. The potatoes, almost half price.
Sigh.
This probably sounds like it isnt a very big deal, but it's the difference between 1500 calories a day and 1800. That's almost an entire meal I'm missing out on, only because of my pride.
I returned what I could (flour, yeast, peas, 1pkg ramen) and re-bought all but the peas from save-a-lot. This is a good thing, because it let me afford a ($2.99) multivitamin. This more than covered my Vitamin C needs, as well as most other nutrients. I have 93 cents left now. The things I am most thankful for so far are butter and multivitamins. Who'd have thought?
While I was at Publix, I weighed myself. 169 lbs. I'm hoping this levels off soon. My healthy weight range is 140-180 lbs. I doubt I'll get that low, but if I do, I'll resume eating normally.
This has gotten long enough. I'll leave the moral issues for tomorrow.
Today, I have/will eat:
1/2 cup rice: 300 calories, 6g protein
1 pancake - 210 calories, 6g protein
1/2 cup oatmeal - 140 calories, 5g protein
1 peanut butter and jelly sandwich - 410 calories, 14g protein
1 pkg ramen - 380 calories, 10g protein
2 tbsp spread - 160 calories, 0g protein
total: 1600 calories, 39g protein
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ReplyDelete"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." Matthew 5:5
ReplyDelete"In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God." Psalm 10:4
"But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall." 2 Chronicles 26:16
There is story after in the Bible about how Gods chosen people made decision out of the overflow of a proud heart, King Uzziah disobeyed the Lord and was struck with leprosy, Ananias & his wife Sapphira sold a field and lied to Peter about its worth and they both fell down and died. Samson in his pride thought he could use his own strength and he died under the weight of the temple.
Pride is yucky. It’s yucky in my heart just as much as any other person. I’m in such awe of how gentle the Father shows us the power and depth of the sin in our life. Who would have thought that the Lord would use something as silly shopping at Save-a-lot vs. Publix to display the pride in your heart! (as a fellow Publix snob I’m right there with you!) :)
I cannot properly articulate how wonderful your blog is. I genuinely look forward to reading it. And I've been amazed at what the Lord is teaching me, as I observe YOU walking through this. The other night I made some veggie/pasta creation for dinner and there was some left over. You know how it happens, not enough for a whole meal, but just enough to make you not want to throw it out. As I contemplated whether or not to throw it away, I thought, "Tim would die if he knew I was throwing away this veggie pasta as he eats his beans, rice and oatmeal! Better still millions of people die daily because they don't have any means to eat the amount of food, that I was about to throw away."
I have just realized how wasteful I am, how ungrateful I’ve become. When I think about my home, car, cell phone, fully stocked pantry, fridge with food going bad because I don't eat it fast enough, and my heart breaks with the reality of knowing the condition that millions of people call reality.
Thank you for doing this. The Lord has used you, what he has called you to do this month to show me some ways I can change a) the pride and yuck in my heart and b) ways in which I can use everything that the Lord has richly blessed me with, to glorify the Kingdom.
funny you post this. today i'm going to talk about how much it bothers me when people throw food away.
ReplyDelete